Mid-life (Autistic) Crisis
It is not unfamiliar to me at this point to meet an autistic adult who is struggling with finding the balance between their work and their life. Not only in my clinical work has this been a common theme; in my personal life I have known at least one person who has also struggled with this issue.
I have noticed a pattern of starting work, becoming overwhelmed, dysregulated, and stressed due to the social and/or task demands of the job, in some cases outside of the written job description however considered part of the work. The pattern shows up across more than one job, and may occur for a period of many years into adulthood before the ensuing burnout or meltdown occurs. During the meltdown period, symptoms may resemble depression, significant anxiety, and in some cases trauma responses are not uncommon.
Patterns of autistic burnout in early adulthood are even covered in the DSM 5, in the diagnostic Criterion C:
Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (though they may not become fully apparent until social demands exceed abilities).
This mid-life burnout is anecdotally supported by a number of the readings on my Booklist: Women and Girls on The Autism Spectrum, The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy, and Unmasking Autism all cover it in some form.
It is also written about by a number of other blogs, organizations, and at least this one research article, and you can find more here, and here too.
So why is this so common?
A general understanding that I have seen matches the DSM description: until social (or work, school, etc) demands exceed the person's abilities. This may be further cemented by small misunderstandings in the social sphere that balloon into larger problems; a tendency towards working hard/hyper-focusing on tasks that the person does well, leading to being overburdened with that and extra work, and in some cases is also combined with the person in question slipping through the diagnostic cracks until they crack, and are thrown into the mental health system before coming out with a diagnosis and a million more questions than they started with.
If this sounds like you, take heart in knowing you're not alone in the matter. I am writing this post for the express purpose of reaching someone like you.
There are options that exist for supporting you in managing your stress. Whether the firsts steps involve processing past traumas, identifying ways to get on top of your home chores, or finding a way to re-enter the workforce that doesn't feel so draining, there are people like me who are here for you.
And if you are undiagnosed as an adult, there are a variety of options that can support you in finding the clarification or closure that you need. One resources I frequently direct to is Embrace Autism. Of course, you are also welcome to Email Me, and if you are located in the state of Connecticut, you can seek counseling support with me.